Top 10: Movies that Would have been Better with Danny Glover

By Andrew Doscas

1)      The Matrix (Role: Morpheus)

1. Imagine Danny Glover back sassing Neo every time he mouthed off.  The glove trained one white boy in Lethal Weapon, so he knows how to handle them.  The clincher would have been at the very end when Neo and Trinity storm the government building to rescue Morpheus, and Glover just looks up and says those famous words “I’m too old for this shit”.

2)      Pulp Fiction (Role: The Gimp)

1. You get the picture.

3)      Space Jam (Role: Michael Jordan)

1.  What could be better than a Michael Jordan/Bugs Bunny team up?  A Michael Jordan/ Bugs Bunny team up with Danny Glover playing Michael Jordan.

4)      Little Miss Sunshine (Role: Olive)

1. Danny Glover at a children’s beauty pageant dancing to “Superfreak”, now that is Oscar gold.  That or I just made this family feel good movie incredibly dark and sinister.

5)      Chasing Amy (Role: Hooper X)

1. Danny Glover going on a rage inspired rant about how Star Wars is implicitly racist…uh, yes please.

6)      The Dark Knight (Role: The Joker)

1. This may very well by the greatest thought I will ever come up with.

7)      Harry Potter (Role: Dumbledore)

1. I think I just like the idea of an old and cranky Danny Glover belittling and shattering the self confidence of young children.  Especially young British witches and warlocks.

8)      The Avengers (Role: Nick Fury)

1. In all seriousness, this isn’t a bad idea.

9)      Face/Off (Role: Sean Archer)

1. Without confusing those who haven’t seen the movie, just for a second imagine Danny Glover doing a two hour impression of Nicolas Cage.  BOOM BIGATY BAM!!

10)  Bio-Dome (Role: Any)

1. Since I wouldn’t really classify this as a movie, just seeing Danny Glover hang around Pauly Shore for an hour and a half would be nothing short of amazing.